Consider that the favor and grace of God in your life. ;)
But there's so much.
I'd love to finally be able to write out Lydia's birth experience. Well, not her experience so much as mine. Maybe someday she'll be able to articulate what she experienced that day, but for now I'll take a simple, "Mom, I'm not really hungry. Just sleepy. But I don't wanna go to sleep. Well, I do, but only if there's a certain part of your body shoved in my mouth."
I'd love to write all about the first month of her life with us and our life as a family of four. And I'd love to include all the cute/hilarious stories we've already accumulated. Like, the times when Lydia suddenly goes ballistic out of nowhere and after a few moments of me trying to figure out what could possibly be wrong, I find she's gotten a chunk of her own hair in her tightly clenched fist and is so mad (and in pain) that her fist just gets tighter when I try to uncurl it...of course, resulting in higher-pitched screams. And then her poor little scalp is bright red for half an hour. And I'm laughing at her...as is the mother's right and privilege.
I'd love to write all about how Josiah is adjusting and all the super adorable things he says and does. I'd also love to write about how hard it is to be completely present for him in the way that he's used to us being and how I have to keep reminding myself that him having a sibling is a far, far better thing for him than having our undivided attention. And also, how hard it is to get that kid to be quiet.His whispers wake the neighbors up. And Homegirl is not a heavy sleeper. Well played, God. Well played.
I'd love to write all about how breastfeeding is going the second time around and how apparently 3.5 years makes all the difference in the world when it comes to my maturity level and laziness and selfishness. Also, I'm a fan of my independence. I've been lovingly teased before because I often use the phrase, "I just don't wanna be pinned down." Yeah...well...nursing a newborn is nothing if it isn't being pinned down...for 20 hrs of the day. Hopefully, some day I will be able to write out more of my thoughts and experiences with all this, but for now, I'll just say this... I begged the Lord...begged and pleaded like Hannah begged for a child, for breastfeeding to work out this time. And He's totally making it possible. But with great privilege comes great responsibility, right? And what a pill it's been for a selfish, lazy, independent person to swallow.
I'd love to write all about how emotional it is to be binge-watching episode after episode of Gilmore Girls (perfect timing, Netflix!) while nursing my daughter. (I only watch it while nursing...and not even every time I'm nursing, but I'm already almost through the whole first season. That's a lot of being "pinned down" if ya ask me.) A show all about the various dynamics of mother-daughter relationships? While spending countless hours with my own daughter? And already in her 1 month of life, we have had quite the roller-coaster relationship. Not at all on her part...totally on mine.
I'd love to write about a great many things.
But I'll just wrap it up with this (because a little diva just woke up from her 10 minute nap and is apparently starving again...here I come, Gilmores!):
The Lord has been so sweet. To all of us. We knew it would be a hard season for us. For Matt, with it being the beginning of the school year and the craziest, busiest time of the year. And for Josiah, with not being the only kid and the object of everyone's attention all.the.time. And for me, with recovering from major surgery and having a few other complications (see, I'd love to write about that too). And for Lydia, with...you know...life and being a newborn and being dependent on selfish, lazy people who still haven't become fluent in newborn. (She has it the hardest out of us all, really.)
It's been hard. But the Lord has been so sweet. And so faithful. He's provided for every little thing we've had need of. Physical. Financial. Emotional. Spiritual. You name it. He's come through.
One of the sweetest ways He's provided? The onset of intentional smiles...just when Mommy's about to throw in the proverbial towel. Because they really do make everything better.
