*Original post date: 01-5-14*
Picking a doctor is a tough choice for us this time around. Last time, I had already been seeing a doctor recommended by one of my bosses for regular gynecological visits. He was such a kind and gentle older man and I LOVED his nurses and office staff. His professionalism was light-years beyond my previous (and first) doctor who gifted me with a few colorful horror stories. Seriously. She was the worst. I probably should have reported her or something.
Anyway, it was an easy choice for me because he already had all my records, etc. But towards the end of my pregnancy, Matt and I both started feeling rather uncomfortable and pressured and like he was really focused on making any extra dollars off of us that he could. And then my labor and delivery proved that he just wasn't to be trusted as having my best interest at heart. Hindsight is SO 20/20, my friends.
(If you don't wanna read through all that...and I can't blame you...to find out why I'm not going back to the same doctor, just know that I ended up having a completely medically-induced labor ending in c-section when that was the very last thing EVER that I wanted. Was it maybe truly the best thing for me and for my baby? Maybe. Possibly. I mean, I trust the Lord. But I don't trust that doctor. Not anymore.)
So, here we are. It's been almost 3 days since I took a positive test and I have no doctor. I had already done a ton of research on VBACs (vaginal birth after cesarean) and am aware that very few typical OB/GYNs agree to perform them. I called a birth center conveniently near Josiah's school (appointments before pick-up!) earlier today and she immediately turned me down. Unless I wanna try for a home birth. Uhhh...not that brave or confident. In fact, just imagining that happening gives me a little giggle.
She did give me the name for a doctor they recommend as being friendly to VBAC patients. I googled him. And all I found were unsavory news reports on how he had a history of neglecting patients that resulted in several malpractice suits. YIPES! If that wasn't enough...and it was...his office was also on the other side of town. Ain't nobody got time for that.
I must admit, I started to get a bit defeated. Maybe it's not the end of the world to just have another routine, scheduled c-section. Women do it all the time. Perfectly healthy women. Even women that I know and love and admire and respect. Strong women. How much easier would that be? Not only could we hand-pick this child's birthday (and fit it to work with what's sure to be THE CRAZIEST MONTH OF OUR LIVES!!!) (Did I mention already that this kid is due to arrive two weeks after Welcome Week? Oh Father, your timing is something else.), but I've already done the c-section thing before. I kinda know what to expect whereas with a normal birth...what?!?! Ahhh! Oh my gracious...I don't know. I just don't know. Too many questions and unknowns and uncertainties. Yeah...another simple c-section sounds great.
But as I began to pray and allowed the Lord to quiet my mind and my fears, I felt even more strongly that I needed to not give up so quickly. My body really hasn't recovered so well from that cesarean and I'm not getting any younger. It'll be even more difficult the second time around to repair the damaged muscles. I really had to ask the Lord to help me check my motives for wanting to try for a VBAC. Yes, I feel like I have something to prove and I have a "right" to have the kind of childbirth experience that I "deserve" and...so on. But I'm not sure any of those reasons are genuinely honoring to the Lord. They might sound nice in our humanistic society. I just want what JESUS thinks is best for me, for my body, for this baby, for our whole family.
So all that rambling leads me to this:
After more research, I finally have a few names of seemingly highly recommended doctors who are widely known for their support of VBACs. I'm planning to make a few calls first thing tomorrow morning and I'm praying for wisdom and favor and clarity from the Lord.
I'll update later.
***UPDATE***
After waiting two weeks to finally get an appointment, we saw a woman who is likely to become one of my very best friends over the next several months...and maybe beyond. My new doctor (in the Texas Children's Pavilion for Women in the Med. Center) is wonderful! She was super kind and helpful and gave us both plenty of time to ask all our silly questions. But the best thing of all was how supportive she is of me attempting a VBAC. We both left that first appointment with so much peace and hope. Both of which we never really experienced before. I'm so thankful that I know a God who is concerned with even these small things in my heart.
*Maybe this is the time to clarify, because I'm sure someone reading this is thinking how naive I am. I have zero problems with ending up with another cesarean birth. I did it before and I can do it again. I have a beautiful, perfectly healthy son who was born with a perfect, little round head and no puffy eyes. But I absolutely (still) feel very cheated out of the chance to go into spontaneous labor and see what this body of mine can do. (I definitely have had to walk through the process of forgiveness with my previous doctor...it's a long road, folks, but I'm on my way.) And I am no doctor, but I've gotten to know my body in these 30 years and I believe I could've waited a lot longer to be induced, which possibly could have eliminated both the need for an epidural and major surgery that I've had quite a tough time recovering from.
My desire for a VBAC is simple: God gave me this magnificent, intricate, miraculous body and I just wanna see what it can do! No stress either way.
Saturday, February 22, 2014
Friday, February 21, 2014
The Day We Found Out
*For the sake of being better at documenting this pregnancy, I began writing about it since the day we found out. I'll post all the updates since then over the next few days. Not sure how many people will actually read this stuff, but it's for me and my memory.*
Before I got pregnant with Josiah, I'd had all these cute and creative ideas for how to tell Matt. But because we had been trying to get pregnant for a little over a year and a half and because I wasn't really at all expecting the positive test, I ended up just jumping into bed with him still half asleep and showing him the test. Totally anti-climactic, but totally sweet and memorable. I was shocked and excited and, quite frankly, a little disbelieving. I had taken ever so many pregnancy tests and had never once seen a positive. I almost didn't even look at it. So of course, I simply couldn't contain my excitement and immediately told him.
But I promised myself that the next time around, I would definitely just exhibit a little self-control and execute something creative to tell him.
Well, this morning (Monday, January 13th) at about 7am, totally having this major "gut" feeling, but also completely expecting yet another in a long line of negatives, I revealed my SECOND PREGNANCY (!!!!) the exact.same.way. So, I ran into the bedroom with peestick in hand and jumped in on top of my half-asleep husband.
It's amazing what two little lines can do to a person. Like I said, I've had a very strong "feeling" for about a week. Of course, it helps that I was 10 days late (according to a silly iPhone app which may or may not have all the accuracy of the Aztecs). Other than that, any teeny, tiny hint of a pregnancy symptom could easily be explained away as something perfectly normal and completely unrelated to pregnancy. I still dreamed and speculated and counted days and tried to figure out the potential due date. I had previously told Matt that I thought I might be and probably needed to invest in a home test or two. Just in case.
But like I said...my history with my "gut feelings" is not exactly a shining record. Too many times have I been pretty well convinced and have been left with nothing but another set of tortuous cramps and crazy moods. (Well played, Eve.) I even gave myself a little pep-talk in the mirror this morning while doing a little "gotta go" jig.
"Katey. Listen to me. If you pee on this stick and it's positive, you can celebrate and be as excited as you can possibly be. You can be grateful and praise Jesus for the miracle. But if that stick comes back negative, you will still be grateful and praise Jesus. The negative gives you more time to get healthy."
And then I peed. And two little positive lines appeared immediately. And then I freaked out.
Those two little lines confirmed SO MANY things over the last couple days and weeks. Weird dreams, insatiable hunger, cranky moods, inexplicable crying, exhaustion, extra bathroom trips (already?!?!), on and on. But mostly they confirmed that this one time, I'm not crazy. I'm not just some gullible hope-addict that can't seem to get over the fact that it's just not happening. Because sometimes, it feels that way.
So listen. I told Matt (who is excited, by the way) that I really want to be better about documenting more of this pregnancy than I did with Josiah. I still have fairly strong memories of certain aspects of being pregnant with him, but the memory fades, my friends. But I must say, I will most likely not be showing off my "bump", seeing as how said "bump" is already the size of a seven-month pregnant belly. I'm only a mere 5 weeks (when this was written).
It goes without saying just how over-the-moon excited we are! So, so grateful to the Lord that we get to do this all over again. Of course, there are tons of unanswered questions and a million things we could worry about, but for now, we're just so happy.
A few things I want to remember about this day:
-Telling Matt in the very same unoriginal, yet completely significant and sentimental way I did with Josiah.
-Cuddling with him and then a few minutes later, Josiah and dreaming of future cuddles as a family of four.
-Asking Josiah if he wants a brother or a sister and his response being, "sister, but not a girl." Hmmm. We'll see how that one plays out. SO GLAD he doesn't get to be the Decider. (As a side note. We are not telling him for a while. By the time this is posted for public viewing, he will indeed know. We want him to be the first one to know, but are gravely aware of his impeccable repeating abilities. Therefore, it will be a secret of mine and Matt's until we are ready for everyone within Josiah's 10-mile radius to also know. But we always ask him this question...just for kicks.) (Longest "side note" ever.)
-Taking Josiah for a walk/run and to play on the playground and being unable to control the emotions as I watched him play. I was just so overwhelmed at the thought of him as a big brother. Oh, he'll be the best, sweetest, most helpful big brother. Mark my words. The best.
- Going through my list of all the people I want SO BADLY to tell right now. And the creative ways I'll get to tell them. Never gets old.
Before I got pregnant with Josiah, I'd had all these cute and creative ideas for how to tell Matt. But because we had been trying to get pregnant for a little over a year and a half and because I wasn't really at all expecting the positive test, I ended up just jumping into bed with him still half asleep and showing him the test. Totally anti-climactic, but totally sweet and memorable. I was shocked and excited and, quite frankly, a little disbelieving. I had taken ever so many pregnancy tests and had never once seen a positive. I almost didn't even look at it. So of course, I simply couldn't contain my excitement and immediately told him.
But I promised myself that the next time around, I would definitely just exhibit a little self-control and execute something creative to tell him.
Well, this morning (Monday, January 13th) at about 7am, totally having this major "gut" feeling, but also completely expecting yet another in a long line of negatives, I revealed my SECOND PREGNANCY (!!!!) the exact.same.way. So, I ran into the bedroom with peestick in hand and jumped in on top of my half-asleep husband.
It's amazing what two little lines can do to a person. Like I said, I've had a very strong "feeling" for about a week. Of course, it helps that I was 10 days late (according to a silly iPhone app which may or may not have all the accuracy of the Aztecs). Other than that, any teeny, tiny hint of a pregnancy symptom could easily be explained away as something perfectly normal and completely unrelated to pregnancy. I still dreamed and speculated and counted days and tried to figure out the potential due date. I had previously told Matt that I thought I might be and probably needed to invest in a home test or two. Just in case.
But like I said...my history with my "gut feelings" is not exactly a shining record. Too many times have I been pretty well convinced and have been left with nothing but another set of tortuous cramps and crazy moods. (Well played, Eve.) I even gave myself a little pep-talk in the mirror this morning while doing a little "gotta go" jig.
"Katey. Listen to me. If you pee on this stick and it's positive, you can celebrate and be as excited as you can possibly be. You can be grateful and praise Jesus for the miracle. But if that stick comes back negative, you will still be grateful and praise Jesus. The negative gives you more time to get healthy."
And then I peed. And two little positive lines appeared immediately. And then I freaked out.
Those two little lines confirmed SO MANY things over the last couple days and weeks. Weird dreams, insatiable hunger, cranky moods, inexplicable crying, exhaustion, extra bathroom trips (already?!?!), on and on. But mostly they confirmed that this one time, I'm not crazy. I'm not just some gullible hope-addict that can't seem to get over the fact that it's just not happening. Because sometimes, it feels that way.
So listen. I told Matt (who is excited, by the way) that I really want to be better about documenting more of this pregnancy than I did with Josiah. I still have fairly strong memories of certain aspects of being pregnant with him, but the memory fades, my friends. But I must say, I will most likely not be showing off my "bump", seeing as how said "bump" is already the size of a seven-month pregnant belly. I'm only a mere 5 weeks (when this was written).
It goes without saying just how over-the-moon excited we are! So, so grateful to the Lord that we get to do this all over again. Of course, there are tons of unanswered questions and a million things we could worry about, but for now, we're just so happy.
A few things I want to remember about this day:
-Telling Matt in the very same unoriginal, yet completely significant and sentimental way I did with Josiah.
-Cuddling with him and then a few minutes later, Josiah and dreaming of future cuddles as a family of four.
-Asking Josiah if he wants a brother or a sister and his response being, "sister, but not a girl." Hmmm. We'll see how that one plays out. SO GLAD he doesn't get to be the Decider. (As a side note. We are not telling him for a while. By the time this is posted for public viewing, he will indeed know. We want him to be the first one to know, but are gravely aware of his impeccable repeating abilities. Therefore, it will be a secret of mine and Matt's until we are ready for everyone within Josiah's 10-mile radius to also know. But we always ask him this question...just for kicks.) (Longest "side note" ever.)
-Taking Josiah for a walk/run and to play on the playground and being unable to control the emotions as I watched him play. I was just so overwhelmed at the thought of him as a big brother. Oh, he'll be the best, sweetest, most helpful big brother. Mark my words. The best.
- Going through my list of all the people I want SO BADLY to tell right now. And the creative ways I'll get to tell them. Never gets old.
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Dear Winter...An Open Letter
Dear Winter,
I love you. I really do. As a girl from Houston, who has never (and will never) get used to the scorching, suffocating heat of the summer, I long for you often. I vowed long ago to never complain about those days when you are fiercer than normal, even when everyone else is, because I would be devastated if you ever took offense and chose to not come around anymore. I so appreciate you and all that you do for my comfort.
But I need to be honest with you today. I'm struggling. I've caught myself several times in the last few days feeling a complaint rise up within me.
You see...yes. It does have a little to do with the fact that you have graced us Houstonians with slightly more than our normal share of wintery weather. We're usually consider ourselves lucky if we have one snow day in 2 or 3 years! But we've had several "ice" days in the last month.
(As a side note and suggestion: I think more people down here would be more welcoming of your presence if you would simply offer just a little bit more of the white stuff along with the frigid temps. It's almost as if you get our hopes up and then just decide at the last minute to play a dirty trick on us. Or at least share the wealth. When our neighbors to the north and west get several actual days of the flurries, it kinda hurts our feeling when all you give is dangerous roads. Just sayin'.)
But here's the real deal. My recent spiral into dissatisfaction with you comes more-so with the lack of sufficient wardrobe. Yes, for me. I'm limited in my cold-weather clothing.
But honestly? For my child.
He's healthy and he's growing like he should and his pants are becoming more and more awkwardly too short every time I put them on him. I cringe. He could care less. And his father doesn't see a difference. But Mommy cares.
But it's not just the pants. It's not even the few long-sleeved shirts he has that are already causing my precious, innocent (*ahem*), little boy to be one who lacks modesty. (He does have a cute, little belly, though. That could be filed under #normalkidproblems. Every kid has that recurring issue of the high-waters. It's called "growing up" and it's something we parents (typically) greatly encourage.
The real issue and struggle I have is the child's coat. To the naked eye, it fits. Sure. But Mommy knows a secret. (*it's two sizes too small*) I chose not to invest in another coat for him because how many really cold days are we gonna have anyway? Yeah. So that's where I am.
See, Winter, my friend. I would never (and will never) ask you to leave. I want you to know that you are always welcome to breathe your coolness on us anytime...especially in those super hot days we all know are fastly approaching. But would you be so kind as to please give me (and my fellow southerners) some indication of how long you plan to stick around? I mean, like...should I go buy the kid another coat?
Sincerely,
The Cold Momma
(who is slightly embarrassed)
I love you. I really do. As a girl from Houston, who has never (and will never) get used to the scorching, suffocating heat of the summer, I long for you often. I vowed long ago to never complain about those days when you are fiercer than normal, even when everyone else is, because I would be devastated if you ever took offense and chose to not come around anymore. I so appreciate you and all that you do for my comfort.
But I need to be honest with you today. I'm struggling. I've caught myself several times in the last few days feeling a complaint rise up within me.
You see...yes. It does have a little to do with the fact that you have graced us Houstonians with slightly more than our normal share of wintery weather. We're usually consider ourselves lucky if we have one snow day in 2 or 3 years! But we've had several "ice" days in the last month.
(As a side note and suggestion: I think more people down here would be more welcoming of your presence if you would simply offer just a little bit more of the white stuff along with the frigid temps. It's almost as if you get our hopes up and then just decide at the last minute to play a dirty trick on us. Or at least share the wealth. When our neighbors to the north and west get several actual days of the flurries, it kinda hurts our feeling when all you give is dangerous roads. Just sayin'.)
But here's the real deal. My recent spiral into dissatisfaction with you comes more-so with the lack of sufficient wardrobe. Yes, for me. I'm limited in my cold-weather clothing.
But honestly? For my child.
He's healthy and he's growing like he should and his pants are becoming more and more awkwardly too short every time I put them on him. I cringe. He could care less. And his father doesn't see a difference. But Mommy cares.
But it's not just the pants. It's not even the few long-sleeved shirts he has that are already causing my precious, innocent (*ahem*), little boy to be one who lacks modesty. (He does have a cute, little belly, though. That could be filed under #normalkidproblems. Every kid has that recurring issue of the high-waters. It's called "growing up" and it's something we parents (typically) greatly encourage.
The real issue and struggle I have is the child's coat. To the naked eye, it fits. Sure. But Mommy knows a secret. (*it's two sizes too small*) I chose not to invest in another coat for him because how many really cold days are we gonna have anyway? Yeah. So that's where I am.
See, Winter, my friend. I would never (and will never) ask you to leave. I want you to know that you are always welcome to breathe your coolness on us anytime...especially in those super hot days we all know are fastly approaching. But would you be so kind as to please give me (and my fellow southerners) some indication of how long you plan to stick around? I mean, like...should I go buy the kid another coat?
Sincerely,
The Cold Momma
(who is slightly embarrassed)
Friday, January 31, 2014
8 Weeks
*Original Post Date: 01.31.14*
It's amazing how much difference a simple First Ultrasound and Doctor's Appointment can make. More on that below.
How Far Along: 8 weeks, 2 days. (Not sure I'll ever have time to do updates on Tuesdays when I change weeks. I'm sure you and I both will get over it.)
Food Equivalent: Kidney bean!
Gender: Still unknown. But that heart rate was clocked going pretty fast. ("Legend" says if it's faster than 140ish, it's likely to be a girl.)
Movement:I can't feel it yet, but we got to see it wiggling around on the screen.
Maternity Clothes: I need some stretchy jeans! And I need to be able to stinkin' tell people already so I don't have to suck in this thing that can't really be suck in...already.
Sleep: It's alright, I suppose. Definitely starting to add some wacko dreams to the mix. If I remember correctly, some of my dreams while pregnant with Josiah ended up being rather prophetic. Hmmm.
Cravings: Anything salty. Tons of ICE water. And my usual Chick-fil-a and pizza. But that could be said of me without child.
Aversions: Would you believe that this kid won't tolerate guacamole??? I have a growing concern that he/she may not be a good fit for this family. I ate some most delicious guac a couple weeks ago and regretted it even into the next day. Yesterday, Matt made some and I just wasn't excited. Josiah kept force-feeding me (where did he learn that?!?!) tiny, little chips delicately dipped in the green good stuff. I obliged, but even that small amount left me troubled not long after. What a sad existence.
What I'm Missing: Extra cups of coffee. I'm still having the one small cup in the mornings, but that just doesn't carry me beyond about 2 or 3 hours.
Symptoms: Still so much burping. Like, deep, ugly, manly, un-ladylike burps. I really hope it goes away eventually. Some sharp pains in my belly when I work out a little too hard. (Ha!) Crankiness. And still some exhaustion. Also, a pretty sucky memory.
Best Moment of the Week: The doctor's appointment and first ultrasound. Got to see that sweet nugget on the screen and hear it's (rapidly) beating heart. Last time, we got a positive test on a Tuesday morning and had an appointment lined up for Thursday. This time however, we had to wait 2.5 weeks! Pure torture. So much time to formulate SO MANY questions and doubts. I will say, though, that it was well worth the wait to be able to have a doctor like the one I have this time around. I (we both) left the appointment feeling so, so encouraged and hopeful. I wrote a little about why we were choosing a new doctor and why it was important to us that he/she be understanding and supportive of our hope for a VBAC. She is. And I'm thrilled.
Worst Moment of the Week: Dare I say...a few somewhat silly arguments with Matt due to my crankiness. Bummer. Hope I move on from that.
Looking Forward To: Finally getting to tell all the family this weekend! Last time it was so easy. Both sides of the family (minus a sibling on each side) just happen to be getting together for lunch since my birthday and Matt's Dad's birthday and my sister's birthday are all within a week or so of each other. It was perfect. This time is a bit more complicated, but nothing we can't still be creative with. I'll tell ya how it all went down next week.
Baby Daddy: He came with me to the appointment and waited through all the various "first appointment" obstacles. He's been very attentive and patient and helpful.
It's amazing how much difference a simple First Ultrasound and Doctor's Appointment can make. More on that below.
How Far Along: 8 weeks, 2 days. (Not sure I'll ever have time to do updates on Tuesdays when I change weeks. I'm sure you and I both will get over it.)
Food Equivalent: Kidney bean!
Gender: Still unknown. But that heart rate was clocked going pretty fast. ("Legend" says if it's faster than 140ish, it's likely to be a girl.)
Movement:I can't feel it yet, but we got to see it wiggling around on the screen.
Maternity Clothes: I need some stretchy jeans! And I need to be able to stinkin' tell people already so I don't have to suck in this thing that can't really be suck in...already.
Sleep: It's alright, I suppose. Definitely starting to add some wacko dreams to the mix. If I remember correctly, some of my dreams while pregnant with Josiah ended up being rather prophetic. Hmmm.
Cravings: Anything salty. Tons of ICE water. And my usual Chick-fil-a and pizza. But that could be said of me without child.
Aversions: Would you believe that this kid won't tolerate guacamole??? I have a growing concern that he/she may not be a good fit for this family. I ate some most delicious guac a couple weeks ago and regretted it even into the next day. Yesterday, Matt made some and I just wasn't excited. Josiah kept force-feeding me (where did he learn that?!?!) tiny, little chips delicately dipped in the green good stuff. I obliged, but even that small amount left me troubled not long after. What a sad existence.
What I'm Missing: Extra cups of coffee. I'm still having the one small cup in the mornings, but that just doesn't carry me beyond about 2 or 3 hours.
Symptoms: Still so much burping. Like, deep, ugly, manly, un-ladylike burps. I really hope it goes away eventually. Some sharp pains in my belly when I work out a little too hard. (Ha!) Crankiness. And still some exhaustion. Also, a pretty sucky memory.
Best Moment of the Week: The doctor's appointment and first ultrasound. Got to see that sweet nugget on the screen and hear it's (rapidly) beating heart. Last time, we got a positive test on a Tuesday morning and had an appointment lined up for Thursday. This time however, we had to wait 2.5 weeks! Pure torture. So much time to formulate SO MANY questions and doubts. I will say, though, that it was well worth the wait to be able to have a doctor like the one I have this time around. I (we both) left the appointment feeling so, so encouraged and hopeful. I wrote a little about why we were choosing a new doctor and why it was important to us that he/she be understanding and supportive of our hope for a VBAC. She is. And I'm thrilled.
Worst Moment of the Week: Dare I say...a few somewhat silly arguments with Matt due to my crankiness. Bummer. Hope I move on from that.
Looking Forward To: Finally getting to tell all the family this weekend! Last time it was so easy. Both sides of the family (minus a sibling on each side) just happen to be getting together for lunch since my birthday and Matt's Dad's birthday and my sister's birthday are all within a week or so of each other. It was perfect. This time is a bit more complicated, but nothing we can't still be creative with. I'll tell ya how it all went down next week.
Baby Daddy: He came with me to the appointment and waited through all the various "first appointment" obstacles. He's been very attentive and patient and helpful.
Big Brother: We actually told him today!!!! Totally doesn't get it. He thinks he's the one in my tummy. Ha! Or that it's Sister Bear from Berenstein Bears. I'm hoping it becomes a little clearer along the way, like when my abdomen balloons to astronomical sizes.
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| This is the only picture I have with him in his special shirt, so far. I love it and think it gives a slight glimpse into his wild personality. |
Friday, January 24, 2014
My Favorite Single
Here's a bit of a random, not-so-random post for ya.
My sister. My wonderful, younger sister, Allison.
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| Allison is on the left. |
She loves Jesus in a way that has always impressed and inspired me. Kinda cool for a big sister to watch a little sister grow into her own relationship with God so well.
The girl has one of those unique, tender hearts that loves and deeply cares for the forgotten. She has worked for several years as staff and leadership at a camp specifically for kids with special needs. And she's SO GOOD at it.
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| Orphanage in China |
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| Orphanage in Kazakhstan |
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| Orphanage in Uganda |
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| She pulls wacky 80's dress-up days off pretty well, eh? |
But I think my very favorite thing about her is her very special relationship with Josiah. She loves my son and the feeling is mutual. "Tia" (as he calls her) is the center of his universe. He's obsessed with her and she's obsessed with him. They have SO MUCH FUN together! I mean, just look at how they look at each other in these pictures.
Saturday, January 18, 2014
Some Favorite Things
I've been really feeling the urge to get back into (regular) writing again. No better way to ease into it than a short and simple, light-hearted post on a few of my recent (very random) favorite things.
1. My Camelback waterbottle.
I've had a few of these over the last couple years, but they keep gettingleft behind somewhere stolen. I even had a sweet friend buy me one for my birthday just days after I lost my favorite one at a large event. I left that one somewhere stupid only 2 weeks later. So mad at myself. I wouldn't buy another one on the principle of the matter (waste of money, just gonna get lost again, etc.) until I had a gift card after Christmas and passed the aisle in Target. Y'all (all 2 of you...Hi, Mom!), this thing lives by my side. Maybe it's the super dry weather we've been having lately, but I feel like I'm sucking down water at a record speed. And I love it so much because it's insulated (i.e. no drops of condensation EVERYWHERE). Also, it's just so much more fun to drink out of a Camelback than anything else.
2. Yardley of London Body Wash - Honey Almond Scent.
This smells so wonderful. I have nothing in particular to say about how it feels on my skin when I bathe. I'm sure it's just really pouring extra moisture and whatever into my pores, but I truly couldn't care less. I just LOVE the way it smells. Simple and sweet, but not too sweet that it makes me wanna barf early in the morning. Just lovely. And the whole "Yardley of London" thing totally makes me think of my Gran who has used their soaps/lotions for as long as I can remember.
3. Kirklands Dried Apples.
These look like the most boring food ever. They truly look like more powdery versions of packing peanuts. And even when you first bite into them, it's kinda off-putting. But if you just kinda suck on them for a minute and let some hydration get back in, they taste JUST like a really delicious apple. And they are so easy. Y'all, I'm the laziest fruit-eater ever. I really only eat bananas because there's not intensive peeling, slicing, cutting involved. I have to slice apple up to eat them (something about peel getting stuck in between my two front teeth), grapes have to be washed, oranges have to be peeled and are too juicy, and all the really good fruits (melons, mangoes, kiwi, etc.) are just too complicated. But these apples are SO GREAT! Just stick in my purse or Josiah's backpack and we've got a yummy, healthy snack. I think I'll have some right now.
4. Old Navy Floral Top.
I bought this on sale with a Christmas gift card a few weeks ago and I wish I had gotten one in every print. I honestly want to wear it every day. And depending on who I'm seeing that day, I actually do wear it every day. (There have been a few overlaps, but they didn't seem to notice...or kindly just didn't say anything.) But it's a perfect weight for this indecisive Houston weather (cold in the morning, hot in the afternoon, cold again in the evening/nighttime). And the perfect amount of "flow" to it to hide some less-than-ideal bumps, if ya know what I mean. It's also the perfect level of casual while also being more put-together than a college t-shirt and hoodie.
5. Bath and Body Works Candle - Marshmallow Fireside
I LOVE several of their seasonal candles. Autumn, Leaves, Cranberry Woods, but this Marshmallow one is totally giving my nostrils a little post-Christmas, winter party. I'm so not a fan of most of the foodie candles. No vanilla cupcake, thankyouverymuch. But this one has only a slight hint of sweet smell and then this wonderful (almost a little masculine) fire-y scent. It's just...mmmm. Warm and cozy and...s'mores would be nice right now.
6. HMDX Speaker.
Y'all. My husband is surprisingly one of the best, most thoughtful gift-givers I know. I have wanted (since we got married) a little, portable speaker like a docking station or whatever for an iPhone. I listen to music every morning while in the shower and getting ready and I usually just stick my phone in a mug because it's kinda hard to hear over the shower running. This thing is so perfect because it has a great sound quality for being so small and is rechargeable on the computer. Basically, we can also take it the car and play music off our phones (we lost the tape-adapter and never bought another one). I can plug this little speaker-guy into my phone in one room of the house and hear it (without the volume being turned all the way up) throughout the rest of the house. (Mine is black.)
7. Trader Joe's Facial Moisturizer
I don't necessarily have the MOST complicated skin ever in the world, but I certainly don't have the easiest set of skins. I've always had a tough time with cleansers and moisturizers. That is, until my sweet mother-in-law got my skin hooked on some pretty pricey Lancome stuff. I've been using it for the last couple years, but it was really starting to stifle our budget (and my husband doesn't readily understand all the intricacies of a woman's facial routine. God bless him, he grew up with a bunch of brothers.) There was a moment a few months back where I was one day shy of being completely out (I have to order it on Amazon) and I knew I needed something. We were grocery shopping at our beloved TJ's and I just took a deep breath and grabbed something that I thought might hold me over until I could order the other stuff. I was preparing for a really bad break-out and shiny, slick skin. I mean, certainly something that costs less than 3 or 4 bucks is gonna make my face freak out. But I have yet to order that fancy-shmancy stuff. It's so light-weight, but is totally getting me through the super dry, winter season. I should've known better than to second-guess Joe's. And the best part is that I've barely made a dent in this huge bottle over 2 month's time. Three or four bucks, what, once a year as opposed to twenty bucks every 3 months? I think I can do that.
8. And of course, This Guy.
Although, I'm not loving his new, too-big-for-his-britches haircut. I like it, alright. And I'm sure it'll grow on me soon enough. I'm just a little weepy at the thought of not seeing his crazy, bouncy, messy bed-hair every morning. *tear*
1. My Camelback waterbottle.
I've had a few of these over the last couple years, but they keep getting
This smells so wonderful. I have nothing in particular to say about how it feels on my skin when I bathe. I'm sure it's just really pouring extra moisture and whatever into my pores, but I truly couldn't care less. I just LOVE the way it smells. Simple and sweet, but not too sweet that it makes me wanna barf early in the morning. Just lovely. And the whole "Yardley of London" thing totally makes me think of my Gran who has used their soaps/lotions for as long as I can remember.
3. Kirklands Dried Apples.
These look like the most boring food ever. They truly look like more powdery versions of packing peanuts. And even when you first bite into them, it's kinda off-putting. But if you just kinda suck on them for a minute and let some hydration get back in, they taste JUST like a really delicious apple. And they are so easy. Y'all, I'm the laziest fruit-eater ever. I really only eat bananas because there's not intensive peeling, slicing, cutting involved. I have to slice apple up to eat them (something about peel getting stuck in between my two front teeth), grapes have to be washed, oranges have to be peeled and are too juicy, and all the really good fruits (melons, mangoes, kiwi, etc.) are just too complicated. But these apples are SO GREAT! Just stick in my purse or Josiah's backpack and we've got a yummy, healthy snack. I think I'll have some right now.
4. Old Navy Floral Top.
I bought this on sale with a Christmas gift card a few weeks ago and I wish I had gotten one in every print. I honestly want to wear it every day. And depending on who I'm seeing that day, I actually do wear it every day. (There have been a few overlaps, but they didn't seem to notice...or kindly just didn't say anything.) But it's a perfect weight for this indecisive Houston weather (cold in the morning, hot in the afternoon, cold again in the evening/nighttime). And the perfect amount of "flow" to it to hide some less-than-ideal bumps, if ya know what I mean. It's also the perfect level of casual while also being more put-together than a college t-shirt and hoodie.
I LOVE several of their seasonal candles. Autumn, Leaves, Cranberry Woods, but this Marshmallow one is totally giving my nostrils a little post-Christmas, winter party. I'm so not a fan of most of the foodie candles. No vanilla cupcake, thankyouverymuch. But this one has only a slight hint of sweet smell and then this wonderful (almost a little masculine) fire-y scent. It's just...mmmm. Warm and cozy and...s'mores would be nice right now.
6. HMDX Speaker.
Y'all. My husband is surprisingly one of the best, most thoughtful gift-givers I know. I have wanted (since we got married) a little, portable speaker like a docking station or whatever for an iPhone. I listen to music every morning while in the shower and getting ready and I usually just stick my phone in a mug because it's kinda hard to hear over the shower running. This thing is so perfect because it has a great sound quality for being so small and is rechargeable on the computer. Basically, we can also take it the car and play music off our phones (we lost the tape-adapter and never bought another one). I can plug this little speaker-guy into my phone in one room of the house and hear it (without the volume being turned all the way up) throughout the rest of the house. (Mine is black.)
7. Trader Joe's Facial Moisturizer
I don't necessarily have the MOST complicated skin ever in the world, but I certainly don't have the easiest set of skins. I've always had a tough time with cleansers and moisturizers. That is, until my sweet mother-in-law got my skin hooked on some pretty pricey Lancome stuff. I've been using it for the last couple years, but it was really starting to stifle our budget (and my husband doesn't readily understand all the intricacies of a woman's facial routine. God bless him, he grew up with a bunch of brothers.) There was a moment a few months back where I was one day shy of being completely out (I have to order it on Amazon) and I knew I needed something. We were grocery shopping at our beloved TJ's and I just took a deep breath and grabbed something that I thought might hold me over until I could order the other stuff. I was preparing for a really bad break-out and shiny, slick skin. I mean, certainly something that costs less than 3 or 4 bucks is gonna make my face freak out. But I have yet to order that fancy-shmancy stuff. It's so light-weight, but is totally getting me through the super dry, winter season. I should've known better than to second-guess Joe's. And the best part is that I've barely made a dent in this huge bottle over 2 month's time. Three or four bucks, what, once a year as opposed to twenty bucks every 3 months? I think I can do that.
8. And of course, This Guy.
Although, I'm not loving his new, too-big-for-his-britches haircut. I like it, alright. And I'm sure it'll grow on me soon enough. I'm just a little weepy at the thought of not seeing his crazy, bouncy, messy bed-hair every morning. *tear*
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
It's a Christmas Miracle!
It's Christmas Eve. And my heart is so full. I want so badly to bottle up all the fresh, magical moments of Christmas we've had over the last few weeks and savor it for years to come. The best way I can think to do any such thing, is to write about it. To try as I might to express that bursting-from-the-seams feeling overflowing in my heart.
I think part of the intense emotion I feel is because this is Josiah's first Christmas that he really gets what's going on. And just like any 2.5 year old, it's mostly about the presents. Always wanting to open presents. But he also totally gets that it's Jesus' birthday that we're celebrating. That He's the One we're singing about. Yes, there's Santa. He was scary at first, but eventually won the little guy over because he brought the toy dinosaur that was very specifically requested. But it's definitely all about Jesus.
**I want to remember going to walk/drive around neighborhoods (both sets of grandparents'), looking at Christmas lights and Josiah being most excited about the candy canes. And I want to remember getting his first nativity set from Grandmommy and PapaJoe and making sure he knew where Baby Jesus was at all times. And the frequent exclamations of, "Mommy, I found Jesus!!!" Does a mommy's heart good. ;)
Maybe some of my deep feelings of gratefulness come from reflecting on what our Christmas was like last year, compared to this year. Not that it was bad in the slightest bit. There's ALWAYS something to be grateful for. But last year was a struggle, emotionally. We had just (FINALLY!! and after way too many emotional roller-coasters) bought our very first home, but were still living with my (wonderfully gracious, generous, sacrificial...hi, Mom) parents. And we were also driving back and forth, painting and fixing and choosing and deciding and blah, blah, blah. It was crazy-stressful to be kind-of living in two different places with a toddler and not a whole lot of "just us" time. We fought for that home super hard and long and it took almost as long to get to move in.
So, needless to say...we spent two (or three or four) very wonderful Christmases with both my parents, in their home and with Matt's parents, in their home and with other various members of our extended families, in their homes. But not in our own. I honestly didn't even realize how much I was sad or affected by that lack until I had the chance for "Christmas Morning" in our own home this year.
I kept tearing up the whole morning. Waking up in our bed. My son running into my room, jumping on top of me yelling, "Merry Christmas, Mommy!!! It's Christmas! I get to open all 'mine' presents now!" Cuddling with my boy and his daddy. Reading the REAL Christmas story on the couch with my little family. Then getting to open our gifts to each other. (By the way, my husband is a most-excellent gift-giver. And a marvelous deal-finder. And so hott.) Then watching my husband cook Christmas breakfast in our kitchen while our beautiful, growing son ran around the entire house playing with each new toy.
I could go on and on.
The bottom line is this:
I have entirely too many things that I am ungrateful for. And too many things that I think I should have that I don't. And so many different things that simply haven't gone my way. So many, in fact, that it often becomes unbearable.
But all those things just seem to disappear when I really open my eyes and look around me at all the wonderful, marvelous, glorious things that surround my life. All the true gifts that prove a fierce faithfulness. All the countless times in the last few weeks I've said, "It's a Christmas miracle!" And the moment in my reflecting heart right now that wonders about that very first Christmas miracle. Is that what Mary and Joseph and the shepherds said? Were they, just moments before, overwhelmed with all of life's insufficiency? Were they whining and complaining about a situation that was seemingly less than what they deserved? And did it all just instantaneously disappear once the LIGHT of reality appeared on the earth? Could they even find words to express the Christmas Miracle snuggling in their arms? It seems like in every nativity scene I see, they're all just staring at the tiny Miracle dressed in flesh.
I think I can learn something from the posture of the statues.
"Let us FIX OUR EYES on Jesus, the Author and the Finisher of our faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."
And may you, in all your worries and struggles and stresses, also fix your eyes on Jesus, the Christmas Miracle, during this holiday season.
Merry Christmas!
I think part of the intense emotion I feel is because this is Josiah's first Christmas that he really gets what's going on. And just like any 2.5 year old, it's mostly about the presents. Always wanting to open presents. But he also totally gets that it's Jesus' birthday that we're celebrating. That He's the One we're singing about. Yes, there's Santa. He was scary at first, but eventually won the little guy over because he brought the toy dinosaur that was very specifically requested. But it's definitely all about Jesus.
**I want to remember going to walk/drive around neighborhoods (both sets of grandparents'), looking at Christmas lights and Josiah being most excited about the candy canes. And I want to remember getting his first nativity set from Grandmommy and PapaJoe and making sure he knew where Baby Jesus was at all times. And the frequent exclamations of, "Mommy, I found Jesus!!!" Does a mommy's heart good. ;)
Maybe some of my deep feelings of gratefulness come from reflecting on what our Christmas was like last year, compared to this year. Not that it was bad in the slightest bit. There's ALWAYS something to be grateful for. But last year was a struggle, emotionally. We had just (FINALLY!! and after way too many emotional roller-coasters) bought our very first home, but were still living with my (wonderfully gracious, generous, sacrificial...hi, Mom) parents. And we were also driving back and forth, painting and fixing and choosing and deciding and blah, blah, blah. It was crazy-stressful to be kind-of living in two different places with a toddler and not a whole lot of "just us" time. We fought for that home super hard and long and it took almost as long to get to move in.
So, needless to say...we spent two (or three or four) very wonderful Christmases with both my parents, in their home and with Matt's parents, in their home and with other various members of our extended families, in their homes. But not in our own. I honestly didn't even realize how much I was sad or affected by that lack until I had the chance for "Christmas Morning" in our own home this year.
I kept tearing up the whole morning. Waking up in our bed. My son running into my room, jumping on top of me yelling, "Merry Christmas, Mommy!!! It's Christmas! I get to open all 'mine' presents now!" Cuddling with my boy and his daddy. Reading the REAL Christmas story on the couch with my little family. Then getting to open our gifts to each other. (By the way, my husband is a most-excellent gift-giver. And a marvelous deal-finder. And so hott.) Then watching my husband cook Christmas breakfast in our kitchen while our beautiful, growing son ran around the entire house playing with each new toy.
I could go on and on.
The bottom line is this:
I have entirely too many things that I am ungrateful for. And too many things that I think I should have that I don't. And so many different things that simply haven't gone my way. So many, in fact, that it often becomes unbearable.
But all those things just seem to disappear when I really open my eyes and look around me at all the wonderful, marvelous, glorious things that surround my life. All the true gifts that prove a fierce faithfulness. All the countless times in the last few weeks I've said, "It's a Christmas miracle!" And the moment in my reflecting heart right now that wonders about that very first Christmas miracle. Is that what Mary and Joseph and the shepherds said? Were they, just moments before, overwhelmed with all of life's insufficiency? Were they whining and complaining about a situation that was seemingly less than what they deserved? And did it all just instantaneously disappear once the LIGHT of reality appeared on the earth? Could they even find words to express the Christmas Miracle snuggling in their arms? It seems like in every nativity scene I see, they're all just staring at the tiny Miracle dressed in flesh.
I think I can learn something from the posture of the statues.
"Let us FIX OUR EYES on Jesus, the Author and the Finisher of our faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."
And may you, in all your worries and struggles and stresses, also fix your eyes on Jesus, the Christmas Miracle, during this holiday season.
Merry Christmas!
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