A Little Saturday Honesty

Today, we're packing.

More out of a need for continued hope and faith than anything else.

I keep thinking of those 10 days after my due date with Josiah. Shouldn't he have already been here by now? Is today the day? What am I supposed to do with my life if it isn't today? Can I actually make any plans for tomorrow? What if he decides to come tomorrow? What if he doesn't ? Am I really even ready yet for him to come?

And the daily questions from sweet, thoughtful, well-meaning people remind me also of those terribly uncertain days before birth. Nobody likes to say, "I don't know." Everybody likes to have all the answers to all the questions.

Well, I don't have all the answers. And that's perfectly okay. Right?

And what answers I do have are so much more complicated and lengthy than what most people truly care to hear.

I've really had to let The Lord temper my attitude lately. I've really had to surrender my "right" to whine and complain and feel sorry for myself. And sadly, I do still whine and complain and feel oh, so sorry for myself way too often. Lord, help me.

If I remember correctly, those long, terribly uncertain 10 days before birth ended in some of the most joyous beauty I've ever experienced in my entire life. I won't lie. It was tough. It was even sometimes painful...kinda like now. But boy, did we celebrate.

And we will celebrate again. We'll celebrate the goodness and the faithfulness and the trustworthiness of God in our lives. And we'll thank Him for teaching us more about peace and patience and rest in Him. And we'll thank Him for, yet again, loving us enough to refine our character.

Just a little honesty from my heart today.