...and your computer has been attacked by an army of viruses.
...and your husband is gone for hours at the wedding YOU were supposed to be coordinating.
*F.O.B. means "Flat On Back" (because you don't know when to say "when" and you overdo it sending your lower back into a major pain-filled spasm).
1. Stare at the ceiling fan and make a mental note to clean it when you feel better. (And then completely "forget" about said mental note because you have to spend the next 3 days catching back up with all the life that kept on going while you were laid up.)
2. Do LOTS of stretches.
3. Spend 15 minutes trying to get into a comfortable position. Then get up again because you can't stay in the same place for too long because everything will get stiff again. Start over with trying to get comfy.
4. Pray...a lot.
5. Watch "What Not To Wear." (Because husband is gone.)
6. Write a story.
7. Draw up (very) basic, almost kid-like plans for the house of your dreams.
8. Pray that the LORD would give you said house.
9. Reconnect with old friends and be super excited about the beauty in their lives. (love you, my sweet Tabby Cakes!)
10. Watch a movie that husband hates. (Again, because husband is gone.)
11. Re-read old magazines.
12. Cry a little from the pain, but mostly because you want husband to come back home already (with a HUGE piece of that wedding cake.)
13. Plan the bridal shower you're hosting in your home next week.
14. Try not to freak out about how in the world your house is gonna company-ready in a week if you can barely move.
15. Memorize some Scripture. (Mostly the ones about healing.)
16. Make a list for your birthday. (So what, if it's still four and half months away.)
17. Coach your sweet sis-in-law through her planning her wedding. (You're almost there, sister!)
18. Make a grocery list for husband.
19. Plan what to do to make it up to husband for all the enormous ways he's bent over backward for you the last 4 days. I mean, really. It's gotta be something good. Cuz, he's done dishes 5 times, he did the laundry, went grocery shopping, made a pallet for you on the floor so you could watch TV, picked it back up again because it wasn't really comfortable, put it back down again because you were really just sick of being back in that bedroom, made you breakfast, lunch and dinner every day, fetched this and that, and took you to the chiropractor and even asked what he could do to relieve some of your pain and woke up at 5am when you couldn't bring yourself to get close enough to kill the huge, giant, nasty roach in the bathroom. (Anyone reading got any ideas???)
20. Make plans for how to change your lifestyle starting NOW so that this doesn't become a lifetime thing.
21. Give thanks to the LORD for when the muscles finally begin to loosen and you start to regain some mobility.
Hope this helps you! :)
Friday, May 21, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
"Super Trooper lights are gonna find me..."
What is about ABBA songs and the movie "Mamma Mia" that never fails to channel my inner 12 year old, who could waste her life away getting dressed up in random clothing and dancing around the house?
For some reason, I woke up this morning in a goofy, girly mood. And as soon as my husband left the house for his coffee date with a friend, I cranked up the ABBA jams and got to dancin'. (I made sure he had driven off and was far enough down the road. He kinda knows this 12 yr. old comes out occasionally, but no need to embarrass us both.)
Belting out the catchy tunes at the top of lungs and dancin' around like a fool made me really ready for summertime and having a little extra time to randomly get together with my friends and be goofy and girly together.
I've always wanted to have all boys. And I have a feeling, given my husband's family's genetic tendency toward all boys, that that's just what I'll end up with. But days like this make me hope and pray that the LORD sees fit to someday give me girl. OH, the memories we will make...dancing around the house, dressed up in the most random of pieces from the wardrobe, screaming the words we do know and making up the ones we don't. Sounds nice, doesn't it?
Do yourself a favor, will ya? Go be goofy for a little while. You won't be able to stop yourself from smiling and having a good day.
For some reason, I woke up this morning in a goofy, girly mood. And as soon as my husband left the house for his coffee date with a friend, I cranked up the ABBA jams and got to dancin'. (I made sure he had driven off and was far enough down the road. He kinda knows this 12 yr. old comes out occasionally, but no need to embarrass us both.)Belting out the catchy tunes at the top of lungs and dancin' around like a fool made me really ready for summertime and having a little extra time to randomly get together with my friends and be goofy and girly together.
I've always wanted to have all boys. And I have a feeling, given my husband's family's genetic tendency toward all boys, that that's just what I'll end up with. But days like this make me hope and pray that the LORD sees fit to someday give me girl. OH, the memories we will make...dancing around the house, dressed up in the most random of pieces from the wardrobe, screaming the words we do know and making up the ones we don't. Sounds nice, doesn't it?
Do yourself a favor, will ya? Go be goofy for a little while. You won't be able to stop yourself from smiling and having a good day.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Can You Please Put Your Shoes Back On?
I experienced something for the very first time ever today. Not a cool, new experience. No, it was actually something I could live the remainder of my life never, ever experiencing again.
Here's the story:
I was in a store shopping for some cute new summer-y clothes. (YAY!) After I got my arms loaded with tons of sweet tops and shorts, I headed into the fitting room. The fitting room attendant promptly robbed me of the majority of my selection stating that they have a limit of 6 items at one time. (Sidenote: Why in the world do they do this to themselves? I mean, I understand that they're trying to cut down on how much gets stolen and how much they have to clean out of the rooms, but the reality of it all is that they are also deterring the shoppers from spending more money. I just don't get it.) I walked back into the very back of the fitting room...more privacy. For as many people who were in the store, there really weren't that many in the fitting room.
As I was getting close to the end of my final 6-item-at-a-time selection, I heard 2 women walking back to the corner of the fitting room where I was enjoying being alone. It's cool. I was almost finished anyway. About 5 seconds later, I changed my mind. It wasn't cool. Not cool at all.
The woman in the stall next to me had taken off her shoes. OMG. Like a wave, it came over me...the smell, followed by the nausea. I promise. I am not exaggerating. I really thought I was gonna vomit. It was absolutely horrible. I still had a couple more things to try on and they were really cute items, but I had to get outta there...or say something.
But I couldn't just say something. How rude would that be? And besides, I'm pretty strong, but I'm also pretty sure she coulda taken me. I decided to just bite my tongue and breathe through my mouth while I tried on the rest of my selection.
The bright side? I made out with several new cute summer-y items. Bring on the heat!
Here's the story:
I was in a store shopping for some cute new summer-y clothes. (YAY!) After I got my arms loaded with tons of sweet tops and shorts, I headed into the fitting room. The fitting room attendant promptly robbed me of the majority of my selection stating that they have a limit of 6 items at one time. (Sidenote: Why in the world do they do this to themselves? I mean, I understand that they're trying to cut down on how much gets stolen and how much they have to clean out of the rooms, but the reality of it all is that they are also deterring the shoppers from spending more money. I just don't get it.) I walked back into the very back of the fitting room...more privacy. For as many people who were in the store, there really weren't that many in the fitting room.
As I was getting close to the end of my final 6-item-at-a-time selection, I heard 2 women walking back to the corner of the fitting room where I was enjoying being alone. It's cool. I was almost finished anyway. About 5 seconds later, I changed my mind. It wasn't cool. Not cool at all.
The woman in the stall next to me had taken off her shoes. OMG. Like a wave, it came over me...the smell, followed by the nausea. I promise. I am not exaggerating. I really thought I was gonna vomit. It was absolutely horrible. I still had a couple more things to try on and they were really cute items, but I had to get outta there...or say something.
But I couldn't just say something. How rude would that be? And besides, I'm pretty strong, but I'm also pretty sure she coulda taken me. I decided to just bite my tongue and breathe through my mouth while I tried on the rest of my selection.
The bright side? I made out with several new cute summer-y items. Bring on the heat!
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