The Day We Found Out

*For the sake of being better at documenting this pregnancy, I began writing about it since the day we found out. I'll post all the updates since then over the next few days. Not sure how many people will actually read this stuff, but it's for me and my memory.*

Before I got pregnant with Josiah, I'd had all these cute and creative ideas for how to tell Matt. But because we had been trying to get pregnant for a little over a year and a half and because I wasn't really at all expecting the positive test, I ended up just jumping into bed with him still half asleep and showing him the test. Totally anti-climactic, but totally sweet and memorable. I was shocked and excited and, quite frankly, a little disbelieving. I had taken ever so many pregnancy tests and had never once seen a positive. I almost didn't even look at it. So of course, I simply couldn't contain my excitement and immediately told him.

But I promised myself that the next time around, I would definitely just exhibit a little self-control and execute something creative to tell him.

Well, this morning (Monday, January 13th) at about 7am, totally having this major "gut" feeling, but also completely expecting yet another in a long line of negatives, I revealed my SECOND PREGNANCY (!!!!) the exact.same.way. So, I ran into the bedroom with peestick in hand and jumped in on top of my half-asleep husband.

It's amazing what two little lines can do to a person. Like I said, I've had a very strong "feeling" for about a week. Of course, it helps that I was 10 days late (according to a silly iPhone app which may or may not have all the accuracy of the Aztecs). Other than that, any teeny, tiny hint of a pregnancy symptom could easily be explained away as something perfectly normal and completely unrelated to pregnancy. I still dreamed and speculated and counted days and tried to figure out the potential due date. I had previously told Matt that I thought I might be and probably needed to invest in a home test or two. Just in case.

But like I said...my history with my "gut feelings" is not exactly a shining record. Too many times have I been pretty well convinced and have been left with nothing but another set of tortuous cramps and crazy moods. (Well played, Eve.) I even gave myself a little pep-talk in the mirror this morning while doing a little "gotta go" jig.

"Katey. Listen to me. If you pee on this stick and it's positive, you can celebrate and be as excited as you can possibly be. You can be grateful and praise Jesus for the miracle. But if that stick comes back negative, you will still be grateful and praise Jesus. The negative gives you more time to get healthy."

And then I peed. And two little positive lines appeared immediately. And then I freaked out.

Those two little lines confirmed SO MANY things over the last couple days and weeks. Weird dreams, insatiable hunger, cranky moods, inexplicable crying, exhaustion, extra bathroom trips (already?!?!), on and on. But mostly they confirmed that this one time, I'm not crazy. I'm not just some gullible hope-addict that can't seem to get over the fact that it's just not happening. Because sometimes, it feels that way.

So listen. I told Matt (who is excited, by the way) that I really want to be better about documenting more of this pregnancy than I did with Josiah. I still have fairly strong memories of certain aspects of being pregnant with him, but the memory fades, my friends. But I must say, I will most likely not be showing off my "bump", seeing as how said "bump" is already the size of a seven-month pregnant belly. I'm only a mere 5 weeks (when this was written).

It goes without saying just how over-the-moon excited we are! So, so grateful to the Lord that we get to do this all over again. Of course, there are tons of unanswered questions and a million things we could worry about, but for now, we're just so happy.

A few things I want to remember about this day:

-Telling Matt in the very same unoriginal, yet completely significant and sentimental way I did with Josiah.
-Cuddling with him and then a few minutes later, Josiah and dreaming of future cuddles as a family of four.
-Asking Josiah if he wants a brother or a sister and his response being, "sister, but not a girl." Hmmm. We'll see how that one plays out. SO GLAD he doesn't get to be the Decider. (As a side note. We are not telling him for a while. By the time this is posted for public viewing, he will indeed know. We want him to be the first one to know, but are gravely aware of his impeccable repeating abilities. Therefore, it will be a secret of mine and Matt's until we are ready for everyone within Josiah's 10-mile radius to also know. But we always ask him this question...just for kicks.) (Longest "side note" ever.)
-Taking Josiah for a walk/run and to play on the playground and being unable to control the emotions as I watched him play. I was just so overwhelmed at the thought of him as a big brother. Oh, he'll be the best, sweetest, most helpful big brother. Mark my words. The best.
- Going through my list of all the people I want SO BADLY to tell right now. And the creative ways I'll get to tell them. Never gets old.