"OOOOOHHHHH! We're HALFWAY There!"

...yes, yes. I'm 20 weeks  pregnant and we're totally livin' on a prayer over here. (I know you sang it. And if you didn't...shame on you.)

I'm definitely not in the mood to stick to the normal update outline this week. There's really only ONE thing on my mind...and a few other little things that might be worth mentioning.

IT'S GENDER WEEK!!!!!!!

(I would say "sex" week, but then y'all might get a different idea. No comment.)

I'm too excited to sleep. I keep imagining the day in my head over and over again. Mainly because it'll actually be a pretty crazy-busy day since it'll be on Thursday and we'll also be getting ready for one of our last Thursday night services with our XA friends. We'll be doing baptisms that night too, and I'm simply beside myself, anticipating a level of joy I may not be physically able to contain. Oh, Thursday...come quickly!

So, instead of following the normal outline, here's a brief (ha!) summary of some of the highlights from this last week.

Obviously, Easter weekend is always such a sweet time of reflection for those of us who believe that Jesus is the King. We had such a great Easter weekend with family and enjoyed a wonderful celebration of the Resurrection at our church. We even dressed kinda fancy and took fancy pictures and everything.

And looky there. You even get a bonus belly-shot. But don't let the dress fool you. The division between the black top and the patterned bottom make the bump look smaller than it is in reality. Or maybe it's accurate because the camera adds 10 lbs. Anyway...

Another big highlight of last week was getting to participate in the engagement of some of our dear friends. Oscar and Alicia have both served as student leaders in Chi Alpha for the last few years and have become some of our most faithful friends. We were so honored to get to be part of the thoughtfully detailed scavenger hunt through Houston Oscar sent Alicia on. The end result was a super sweet proposal and a ring and a promise to spend the rest of her life with him. We are overjoyed for them and can't wait to share in their big day.

Alicia getting her first clue for the hunt!

So, basically last week was pretty great. There were, however, a few difficult days due to the ol' hormone machine. Just last week, I was telling a friend how it seemed like my hormones had kind of evened out and I wasn't so emotional anymore. Two days later I was angry for no reason, then crying uncontrollably for a million and no reasons and then I could not stop laughing at the stupidest things. So...awesome. I love not being in control. (said no one ever.)

BUT...now it's THIS WEEK. And THIS WEEK is gender week!!! We have a very loose plan for making the announcement. The appointment is in the morning and we definitely want Big Brother to be the first to know what kind of sibling he's getting. My plan is to record him opening the correct onesie, send the videos to our oh-so patient family members and then all of social media will be let in on the news after that.

I must say...I am, of course, also very much anxious to know that this babe is healthy and growing properly. But I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm more anxious to know a little more about the identity of this kid taking up residence in my being and making my pants not fit and giving me heart burn after every bite I eat. There just seems to be a little more grace and patience once I know who this kid is.

I just have to say it...Josiah is NOT budging on his proclamation that he's getting a sister. He says it so matter-of-factly and I truly rarely, if ever, bring it up to him at all. Earlier today we were in the car and he was talking about how he could be Kristoff, Daddy could be Sven, Mommy could be Elsa and the baby could be Ana (from Frozen). The rest of the conversation went as follows:

Me: "Well, that sounds great...if the baby's a girl. But the baby might be a boy."
Josiah: "No, Mommy. It's a sister. She can be Ana."
Me: "Well, Buddy, we don't know that yet. The doctor hasn't told us yet if the baby is a brother or a sister."
Josiah: "Well, I will just tell the doctor then.I will tell the doctor is if it is a boy-baby or 'grill'-baby."

Such confidence. Not gonna lie...it totally makes me wonder. And I think I would be so much more convinced this kid's a boy if he weren't so sure otherwise. How weird is that? To trust, even the slightest bit, a kid that's not even 3 and can't even say the word "girl" properly.And a kid that also mentioned (also out-of-the-blue) that the baby is both a girl and a boy. So...there's that.

So, here's the condition of my heart on the gender issue, if you must know: I really, really, really, really am so very torn completely in two. I have always (in the last 4-5ish years) imagined having only boys. Being the queen of the house. I desperately want for Josiah to have a brother. And Matt does too since he grew up with brothers and loves them so much and has so many fun memories with them. I decided long ago that it was highly unlikely for us to have anything but boys and I couldn't be more pleased with that idea. I, personally, think I'm a great boy-mom. I'm actually a little concerned at the thought of me having to raise a little girl to be a lady. We'd both have to take classes, ya know?

But when I think of having a girl, I kinda get excited too. I would LOVE to see Matt be a daddy to a little girl and I tear up a bit just thinking about Josiah being a big brother to a little sister. I can easily imagine Mommy-Daughter days and outings. I love our choice for a girl name and am far more confident in that choice than I am our boy name. (I felt the same way with Josiah.) I feel like these last 14 weeks have been so different pregnancy-wise than the first that I've spent basically the entire time preparing myself for a girl than I have thinking about it being a boy. Does that make any sense?

Anyway...blah, blah, blah. What I'm really trying to say (and what I want to remember in the future when reading this) is that I will be genuinely thrilled either way. And I'll be just as shocked if it's a girl as if it's a boy. I think that's another reason why I'm just dying in suspense of finding out and obsessing over it. Because I truly have no clue.

So...with all that said. What do you think? 

Or...

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