SWEET Dreams

It's one of those outrageously HOT days today. Or maybe it's the same it has been all summer long, but I've just managed to keep myself holed up in the house until this afternoon.

Josiah and I went to make a few new friends up on campus at UH. He participated in his very first ever contact table! He did so great and of course, attracted many a smiling, cooing student (mostly girls). But it was, indeed, rather toasty out today and I didn't want him to fall victim to heat exhaustion so early on in his tiny little life. Plus, he was having a little trouble falling asleep for a nap due to over-stimulation and a terminal case of sleep-fighters syndrome (SFS). So, I brought him home and gingerly placed him in his crib. He was already pretty passed out from the ride home (all of 7 minutes) and promptly turned himself on his little side and continued to dose.

I victoriously walked into the other room and sat down with a popsicle and ginormous glass of ice water and began to check some "email" (read: FB). Two minutes in, my child began intensely whimpering and before I could even get up from the chair, he was all out screaming and wailing in absolute panic. When I walked into his room, his eyes were wide open and he had a look of sheer terror on his face. He even was startled a little more when he noticed me standing over him.

I knew immediately that he must've had a bad dream. Something must've scared him. He must've seen something behind his precious, innocent eyes that caused him to utter such screams.

I immediately picked him up in my arms and began praying and telling him he was okay; that Momma was here and Jesus was with him. Once he calmed down, I talked to him about how there are bad things in the world, and that sometimes he'll see and experience bad things, but that Jesus wins. And that Jesus is always with him.

My heart just broke that it had to be that way. As his mommy, I want so bad, more than anything, to shield and protect him from anything and everything unpleasant.

And that's when I got convicted.

I should be pleading the blood of Jesus over my son's sleep...over his dreams. I can't, as his mother, control what comes into his mind. I can't choose what thoughts he has or what images he sees when he's sleeping. (I can take control over what images he sees while he's awake, but that another topic altogether). But I, for sure, can set up a cover over him in the name of Jesus and by His blood.

You may disagree with me. "But bad dreams and nightmares are just a part of life. Everyone has them and there's no use getting worked up over trying to shield our children from them."

Maybe. But I honestly believe that when we plead the blood of Jesus over the lives of those we cherish and love, they are truly protected. I also know that Psalm 91 says that we need not fear the terror of night (vs.5) and that He gives His angels charge over us (vs. 11).

Mommies: let's be committed to praying over our darling babies and their dreams. While we still can, let's choose to be intentional and pray that they have sweet dreams; dreams of the beauty of Jesus. Let's protect them for as long as we possibly can from the evils of this world.

And maybe...just maybe...if our precious wee ones are engaging in the sweetest of dreams, they may just stay asleep a little bit longer. And we could all use some more of that, right? ;)

Vacation

For some, vacation looks like crystal-clear beaches and sun-tans and cold drinks. For others, it looks like airplanes and museums and tourism.

For me, vacation looks a little more like this:

1. not setting an alarm and sleeping in until my back hurts from being in bed too long.

2. not feeling like I have to wake up at a certain time because someone is waiting on me or breakfast won't be served past a certain time or I need to make the most of the day.

3. not showering.

4. not wearing make-up.

5. wearing jammies all day long.

6. leaving my phone upstairs (or in the other room, etc) and not even looking at it for many hours at a time.

7. reading a good fiction novel.

8. flipping through magazines.

9. taking 3 naps a day.

10. reading a good novel and flipping through magazines in between naps.

11. eating 2 pieces of pie.

12. not taking one single picture of anything (see numbers 3, 4 and 5).

13. not having anywhere to go or anyone to see...nothing planned.

14. drinking afternoon coffee because I can stay up as late as I want because I'm just gonna sleep in the next morning and take naps throughout the day.

15. going to bed when I feel like it, preferably falling asleep while watching a movie and cuddling with someone handsome (husband and/or baby).

For some of you reading (all 3 of you), this may sound utterly boring. And if I did this for more than 3 days, I'd be bored too. But when life is always so scheduled and so planned, day in and day out and you live in a big city with lots of people...sometimes you just need to go to Small Town, Nowheresville for a few days and do nothing. Absolutely, blissfully nothing.

Of course, some of this has become a little bit tweaked since vacations past, having an infant to share my vacation with (see #1a, #2a and #12). But let me tell ya...it still feels pretty good.

What's your idea of vacation?

P.S. This is a picture-less post (see #12).

One Month- We Survived!!!

I have a very strong suspicion that the days and the weeks and the months of my baby being a baby will just fly right by. They already are slipping away and he has changed so much in just a month's time. And there's just so much going on that I want to remember, but my sleep-deprived mind simply doesn't allow for it.

So, I will use this little blog to document as much as I can about my son's development. It may not be an interesting read to you, but I know a grandma or 2 that might glory in the little details of this cutie's life. And who knows? Maybe he'll even enjoy reading all this someday. If the internet still exists then.

My Darling Josiah,

Today you are one month old.

(Okay, so I actually wrote this 2 days ago when he actually turned 1 month, but I'm a new mom and am just now finding time to post it. Please go easy on me.)

In fact, at this very time Mommy was getting prepped for surgery. (I'm in the process of working on a post about his birth...I can only do so much at a time. ) You are such a big baby. Daddy and I have really been noticing lately just how long you are! You have very long, skinny legs and long arms. You lost a good amount of weight when you were first born, but you have definitely caught back up. We weighed you the other night at Grandmommy and Papa Joe's house and you weighed 10 lbs! You look like you swallowed a softball. Definitely a lot different from the day you were born.

You are wearing size 1 diapers and are starting to outgrow your newborn clothes. But your 0-3 month clothes are still super huge on you. You may need to just be naked for a couple weeks until you grow into them.

Speaking of being naked. Sometimes you like to be naked and sometimes you hate it. I think we've figured out that you like being naked when you're about to spray Mommy or Daddy. You tend to smile a lot afterwards. You little booger, you.

You've had a few baths, but mostly after you've made a giant mess and wipes just won't cut it. The first couple baths were not fun for you. In fact, you even screamed until you almost made yourself sick and made Mommy think she was abusing you. You seemed to like the bath you had today (after your little "birthday gift") and even smiled and cooed while Mommy rubbed you down with lotion after.(not sure why this picture decided to turn it's little self upside-down)

You are eating about 4 oz give or take at each feeding. You and Mommy are still trying to get the hang of this whole breastfeeding thing. You tend to nurse for a few minutes, but always fall asleep, still sucking, but not really getting anything out. We WILL figure it out. In the meantime, you are eating a bottle of pumped breast milk and about an ounce or 2 of formula at every feeding. You are normally a pretty chill little guy and so very well-behaved...until you decide you're hungry. And then, you reach decibels not healthy for the human ear. Mommy and Daddy just kind of laugh at how dramatic and intense you are. But for some reason, at 3am it's not so funny.
You have had LOTS and LOTS of visitors in the last month. You have so many friends and you are always so chill when meeting them. Usually you fall right asleep in their arms. Many of your new friends have even commented on how good you are. We are so thankful and are praying that this isn't just a phase. We want (and need) for you to be comfortable around lots of people...for the rest of your life. Of course, you do always love to be cuddled by Mommy the best. And you love to hang out with Daddy while he reads or watches TV.


You've also gotten to go to lots of new places this last month. Mostly you've visited restaurants like, Chuy's, Fiesta Loma Linda, Dot's (twice!), 888. You got to go to Home Depot and HEB once and you even got to visit Jack and Caroline. You went to Grandmommy and Papa Joe's for the first time the other day and you went to a baby shower with Mommy. You are always so well-behaved anytime we go anywhere. Again, we are so thankful to have such a good baby.

About your sleeping schedule...we need to work on this. I'm not even sure if we're on a certain schedule right now, but you seem to go to sleep pretty early in the evening after eating, wake up once in the night to eat, but go right back to sleep and then wake up again at 5 or 6, but are ready to start your day. You must be a morning person like Mommy. This is when you are wide-eyed and ready to chat. Mommy and Daddy are usually still in great need of another 2 or 3 hours of sleep, so we typically put you in the bed in between us (we make sure it's safe and there's no chance of hurting him) and let you coo away until you fall back to sleep. We LOVE this morning nap-time ritual.

You have lots of nicknames from Mommy and Daddy. We rarely even call you Josiah. Here are a few of the most commonly used nicknames:
*Chubbs
*Buddy
*Fussybutt
*Stinkybutt

I'm sure there's so much more about you that we want to remember and hopefully, we will. We love you so much, son and can't believe the Lord has let us borrow you for awhile. Sometimes it feels like we've known you forever and that you've just always been a part of our lives. You fit into this family so perfectly. We can't wait to see how you grow and to get to know your little personality even more as the days go on.

Random Thoughts From An "Overdue" Pregnant Woman

*My estimated due date was 3 days ago. I think this bothers others more than it bothers me.

*I was reading some very insightful information on due dates that actually caused me to recalculate what my actual due date really is. Based on the length of my "monthly cycle" (which is far from the typical 28 days), my actual estimated due date should really be still another week or so away.

*I'm completely okay with this. Except that I cannot, for the life of me, figure out what I should do with my life for the next week. Everything is cleaned. Everything is installed. I'm not working anymore. Chi Alpha is over for the year. Now what???

*Please take note that I typed in bold italics (twice) that the due date is estimated. This is why, from the very beginning, when people would ask what my due date was, I would tell them sometime in late April....maybe.

(alright, already. enough with the due date.)

*Tomorrow is my husband's birthday. Men are so hard to buy for and I couldn't decide what to give him this year. So, I thought I'd just give him a son. I thought he might like one and he doesn't already have anything like that. The only thing, is that it seems as if I might have accidentally ordered it a little too late. I think I'll just pull the trick where you put the picture of the gift in a card and tell him the gift is on it's way. Do you think he'll like it?

*I'm BEYOND ready to wear clothes that fit. Even my trusty maternity items are "shrinking."

*America's Funniest Videos has seriously become one of our default shows. We both actually enjoy watching it and will find ourselves laughing the most at the babies and little kids. Maybe one day I'll have some valid material to send in to them. I just wish they didn't insist on always interrupting the funny with the lame. You all know who I'm talking about.

*The Royal Wedding: I mean, sure...it's a pretty big deal. She became a princess. But what is this wedding compared to the Royal Wedding I'll get to be in when the King of Kings comes to make me His bride? "Let us rejoice and be glad and give Him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and His bride has made herself ready." ~Revelation 19:7

*The last couple mornings here have actually been really cool and nice. It helps my motivation in staying active and taking nice, long walks.

*I've been learning a lot lately about being flexible and not getting cranky when things don't happen exactly as I think they should happen. Not just with this whole "due date" issue (i thought i was done with this topic), but also in several other situations. I truly am so much of a control freak that it's sometimes so hard for me to be okay when something goes differently than how I expect. ~ "...for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances." - Ephesians 4:11.

The Suspense is Killing Me

It's so funny. I'm pretty sure I get a text message or phone call or Facebook post, etc. on a daily basis (often multiples in one day) asking if I've had the baby yet or telling me they can't wait or something along those lines.

And I'm pretty sure I've lost count of how many times in a day I say something to the effect of, "When is he gonna get here?!" Or "I just wish I knew when it was gonna happen!" (It kills me that I can't write his birthday down in my calendar...I'm a planner, folks.)

And of course, we got the Grandmas calling on a regular basis. Which is definitely a good thing. (I know you're reading this, Mom.) ;)

I guess I just wasn't expecting so much anxiousness to come from Baby-Daddy. There have been several times when he's said something to me like, "I just want him to be here already." Or like yesterday at our doctor's appointment (hopefully the last!), I asked him if he wanted to look at the ultrasound pictures and he said, "Sure, I guess. But I'm just ready to see his real face and not some fuzzy image."

I'm telling you...the suspense is killing me. Us.

And not just when he'll come, but so many other questions run through my mind throughout the day.

What will it be like? Will he come quickly or will it take 87 hours?
Will he get the hang of feeding quickly or will we have to fight through it?
Will he have a full head of hair? Will it be curly like Mommy's or dark and straight like Daddy's?
Will he be left-handed like Daddy or right-handed like Mommy?
Will he be one of those super friendly kids that just come to random people and smile? Or will he be shy and we'll have to urge him to say Hi to people?
What will his personality be like?
Will he be laid-back and chill like Daddy or high-strung and awkward like Mommy?
Will he be a Mommy's boy or Daddy's little buddy? (Hopefully both!)

Will he have a heart for the things of God early on?
Will he thrive in the life of ministry?
Will he be like Josiah in the Bible and always walk in the ways of the Lord and never turn to the right or to the left?

All of these are questions we have constantly. And only time will tell. I can't wait to get to know him. I can't wait to figure out all his little quirks like I would with any new friend I meet. I know it'll take some time for us to get to know each other, I'm just ready to get this thing started!

In the meantime, I'll leave you with one of the main questions we (and others) have:
Who do you think he'll look most like?

Like Daddy?Or like Mommy?

P.S. I asked Jack (my favorite 4 year old) today if he thought Josiah will look like me or Matt. After thinking for a second, he simply said, "Nobody." I asked him what he meant. He said, "He'll just look like Josiah."
From the mouths of babes.

Never Say This To A Pregnant Woman

I'm pretty pregnant right now.

I mean, really. HUGE.

There's no hiding this protuberance coming out of my body. I'm pretty sure nobody even looks at my face anymore. Their eyes just go straight to the middle. Not to mention that even my maternity clothes seem to be shrinking a little more every day. Of course, making the huge-ness even more obvious.

And it's okay. I mean, of course, I have moments where I feel huge...and no woman ever wants to feel huge. But I am completely aware that this growth is because of my son. My precious, tiny, perfect son...who'll be here in a matter of days. DAYS, I tell you!

But can I, just for a moment, enlighten the general public on what NOT to say to a pregnant woman? Just a few things, really.

1. "You look like you're about to POP!" - Not only is that just a "nice" way of saying, "You're HUGE!" But it also conjures up rather disturbing images involving childbirth that no human (especially one about to give birth) ever wants to imagine.

2. "Are you sure it's not twins? I bet there's a secret twin hiding in there." - Yes, I'm sure. I may look like I'm carrying twins, but we've had several ultrasounds and we've heard the ONE heartbeat all pregnancy long. No twins. And thank you for creating a new nightmare for me. *Not that having twins would be a nightmare. We're just in no way prepared for twins.

3. "Just don't have him on this certain date." Or..."You should have him on this certain date. It's my birthday!"- Umm...I cannot control when he decides to come. If I could control it, I would've had a part on the T.V. show Heroes for having super-human superpowers.

4. "Will you just have that baby already!?!" - Trust me. Nobody wants me to have this baby more than I do...well, besides maybe the baby-daddy. He's put up with a whole heck of a lot of hormones over the last few months...and even more concentrated in the last few weeks.

5. "Girl, you should just go ahead and have a C-Section!" or "Don't even think of trying to do this without an epidural. "- Actually, my husband and I (you know, the Mommy and Daddy of this kid and the ones paying the hospital bills) have had many discussions and have prayed long and hard about it and have decided that what's best for our family includes neither of these. Of course, we understand that one or both of these may end up happening, but that will be our business and still our decision to make. But thank you for your input.

6. "Oh, no! You can't carry that stack of plates!"- Really? Why not? I'm perfectly capable. It's a stack of plates.

7. "You should have another piece of cake after eating those 5 pieces of pizza. You are eating for two, afterall."- No. No, I'm not. My tiny baby does not eat the same amount as an over-indulgent adult. And I'm pretty sure that's considered gluttony. And yes, I really do want to eat another piece of cake, but please do not encourage me.

8. "So, how much weight have you gained?"- I mean, you can go ahead and ask a pregnant woman this, but she's gonna lie to you. Don't say I didn't warn you. And no matter what her answer is, please lie back to her and say, "Oh, that's nothing! You don't even look it!"

9. "Can I please tell you my absolutely horrifying childbirth experience?"- Trust me, nothing you can say is worse than what I already imagine will potentially happen. Except that sometimes you may actually have had something even more horrifying that happened that I haven't yet imagined. And so, therefore, no thank you. I'm already spending all the hours in my day rebuking those horrible thoughts and fears.

Just a sample for those of you who may wonder if it's appropriate to say something like one of these to a pregnant woman. I've had every one of these said to me, in some way or another, and have honestly not at all gotten offended or insulted. I have pretty thick skin when it comes to this kinda stuff and it doesn't usually phase me. Although, I will say...after hearing some of these over and over and over again...it can kinda start to get to a woman. Not to mention that raging hormones make emotions even more raw and the skin a little more sensitive than usual.

But truthfully, no hard feelings here. Just a little help for my friends. And I'll probably not even give a second thought to any of this once that little guy is in my arms.

In just a few days. DAYS!!!

And just because you humored me and read through all that, I leave you with evidence of the huge-ness. Just remember, folks, that the camera adds. Here I am at 38weeks.


Also, you should know that I am not wearing any maternity clothes in this picture. A bit of a boost to the ol' self-esteem, just when I needed it. :)

Wonderful Wednesday

Wednesdays are normally my VERY, VERY long days and therefore, I typically have a hard time enjoying them as much as I have enjoyed this particular Wednesday. Don't get me wrong, I still usually enjoy Wednesdays, it's just that by the time I'm climbing into bed (quite the comedy act these days, folks), I can't remember anything that might have been enjoyable about it.

So therefore, I decided I should celebrate this momentous occasion by expressing all the little things that made my day wonderfully pleasurable.

1. Waking up this morning just a minute or two before my alarm went off...and actually being awake and ready to get out of bed! (Not normally something enjoyable for me or other human beings, but I was truly amazed and thankful that the Lord had supernaturally blessed me with more energy than normal.)

2. A really sweet time with the Lord this morning while eating breakfast and on my way to work.

3. How chilly it was this morning. Again, another blessing from the Lord, seeing as how I'm huge and out-of-control hormones cause me to be HOT every moment of every day.

4. Another hilarious conversation with an awesome little boy. I had to stifle a lot of laughter. Maybe another post for another day. Or maybe not...it might not be appropriate for this particular venue, But if you find yourself around me in the next few days, you might hear about it.

5. Taking a sweet nap under cool sheets.

6. ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL AFTERNOON WEATHER! And getting to enjoy it being outside, hunting for lizards and spending quality time with 2 of my very favorite loves. I get super emotional thinking about how in a few weeks I won't get to be with them every week for a couple months. But now is not the time for sadness.

7. Their mom coming home a little early. Which just simply means that I didn't have to sit in an hour's worth of traffic. It's amazing what just 15 minutes during rush hour will do.

8. Sweet new music on the short commute home.

9. Bringing home a few stems from my boss's gorgeous rose bush. (She cut them off for me...I did not thieve them.) We used to always have fresh flowers in our home, but haven't in a really long time. You know, because of how our expenses have suddenly multiplied in the last few months. Something about getting ready for another human being, I guess.

10. Old school Willy Wonka on TV. "If you want to view paradise, simply look around and view it." I honestly thought when I was little that the candy room was what Heaven would be like. It blows me away to think it'll be so much more than that!

11. Feeling my child trying to bust his way out of my womb...through my belly button. He doesn't ever kick...he butts. And he butts hardcore. And as uncomfortable as it can sometimes be, I always relish his movements thoroughly. I know I'll miss it in a matter of a few weeks. (A few WEEKS??? EEK!)

12. My thoughtful, darling husband bringing me a bowl of his green salsa (addicted!), some chips and a glass of iced tea to snack on while he cooks dinner.

13. My darling, thoughtful husband.

14. His green salsa.

15. The fact that he brought me iced tea. He is the caffeine nazi, y'all. This spoke volumes of love to me.

16. My thoughtful, darling husband cooking me dinner.

**Those were all just such a big deal that I needed to go ahead and give them second mention of their own.

17. Getting random packages in the mail for our little guy. I had no idea how much fun this would be!

18. A spontaneous evening of nothing-ness, but getting to sit on the couch next to my aforementioned darling husband and watch cooking shows...in my jammies.

The night is still young and I'm sure there's more to be enjoyed, but I plan on going to bed early...something else that deserves celebration.

The only thing that I can think of that I don't particularly care for is that this post has zero pictures. But seriously, after all that...who cares?

What have you enjoyed about this glorious day?